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Hayley-XXI-10

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created by LisaGee
Revision as of Dec 27, 2021, 10:56:18 AM
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possibly, fix on any Plan of conduct towards you, that would entirely tranquillize my Mind. This I should not so much regard, were it not for very particular circumstances.
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I have still so much of my <u>original Heroic Spir</u>it, that I would not <u>shrink from an Inquietude or Pain</u>, by which I could contribute to <u>your Health</u> or <u>Comfort</u>, if such Inquietude & Pain would not necessarily produce <u>Consequences</u> that <u>You</u>, (I am sure) of all persons living, would most wish to <u>prevent</u> – I mean those of injuring materially my un<u>settled Health</u>, & involving me in <u>various distresses</u>.
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But I entreat you to recollect, that Scarborough is much nearer to you than Hastings.— On looking into the Map I find a good road from Derby to Lincoln, which you may travel in postchaises; & from Lincoln I apprehend you will readily find most commodious Coaches to Scarborough;- a Scene highly beautiful in itself, & particularly convenient for bathing!
  
To explain this, I must enter a little into my literary History, woeful as it is – It will not surprise you to hear, that I have made repeated attempts to reinforce my petty Exchequer with <u>dramatic supplies</u>¸& with my <u>antient success</u> – This long series of disappointments has involved me in <u>some debt</u> & still <u>more anxiety of spirits</u>, both which I hope, in some degree, to remedy by devoting the next year to as much calm & retired study in this my favourite Retreat, as my Brains will bear; & the more so, as I have promised to execute, by the beginning of the Winter, a new Life of Milton, for a splendid Edition of the divine Bard, which is to appear as a Companion to the Boydelian Shakespeare.-
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If you approve this plan, that I most tenderly recommend to you, I will most willingly take on myself all that Expence of your Chaises, backwards & forwards, between Derby & Lincoln; by which Measure, I apprehend, this project must prove considerably cheaper to you than an Expedition to Hastings. Your coming into Sussex this year must unavoidably prove a source of Inquietude and distress to my Mind; & if you persist in that Resolution, I shall consider it as an open Act of Hostility & defiance.
  
Now I confess to you very frankly, that I could not execute a page of this work, were you to pass the Time you mention, or even arrive, summer in sussex; I will only say on this subject in the words of your acquaintance the old Lion, "<u>Sensation is Sensation</u>”
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Yet even than, my dear Eliza, I shall harbour no <u>Resentm</u>ent ag<u>ainst you</u> – I shall never act as your Ennemy, [sic], for, in Truth, I cannot intentionally be so; but you will force me, much against my Will, to cease corresponding with you as a Friend, & I shall bitterly lament, that you have not that Esteem & regard for me, which my Heart & Conscience assure me I have deserved from you; & which, (if you had them) would assuredly induce you not to persist in a Measure, that I tell you (in the most tender Manner) you cannot pursue, without wounding my peace of Mind to such a degree, as to render me unfit for all profitable Study. — ah! my dear Eliza! why should you tear from us both the only Enjoyment, that our Singular destiny can allow us to derive from each other?–I mean the constant Intercourse

Revision as of Dec 27, 2021, 10:56:18 AM

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But I entreat you to recollect, that Scarborough is much nearer to you than Hastings.— On looking into the Map I find a good road from Derby to Lincoln, which you may travel in postchaises; & from Lincoln I apprehend you will readily find most commodious Coaches to Scarborough;- a Scene highly beautiful in itself, & particularly convenient for bathing!

If you approve this plan, that I most tenderly recommend to you, I will most willingly take on myself all that Expence of your Chaises, backwards & forwards, between Derby & Lincoln; by which Measure, I apprehend, this project must prove considerably cheaper to you than an Expedition to Hastings. Your coming into Sussex this year must unavoidably prove a source of Inquietude and distress to my Mind; & if you persist in that Resolution, I shall consider it as an open Act of Hostility & defiance.

Yet even than, my dear Eliza, I shall harbour no Resentment against you – I shall never act as your Ennemy, [sic], for, in Truth, I cannot intentionally be so; but you will force me, much against my Will, to cease corresponding with you as a Friend, & I shall bitterly lament, that you have not that Esteem & regard for me, which my Heart & Conscience assure me I have deserved from you; & which, (if you had them) would assuredly induce you not to persist in a Measure, that I tell you (in the most tender Manner) you cannot pursue, without wounding my peace of Mind to such a degree, as to render me unfit for all profitable Study. — ah! my dear Eliza! why should you tear from us both the only Enjoyment, that our Singular destiny can allow us to derive from each other?–I mean the constant Intercourse